Unanswered Questions
by Manami Miyamoto
Summary: Wouldn't it be great if life were simple? If life were fair? If life were happy?  Alice has some unanswered questions that needs answers, Rated T to be safe! Contains Slash!
1. I Need Answers

This is actually very sad but I needed to write it. I am very gloomy and I miss my boyfriend so there.

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_Wouldn't it be great if life were simple?_

_If life were fair?_

_If life were happy?_

_If life weren't filled with sorrow?_

_If I were constantly plagued by these horrific thoughts?_

_Thoughts of me on my death bed with everything to lose?_

_Thoughts of me on my death bed with no one to wish me fairfarren into another life instead of another world?_

_Thoughts of never seeing my Tarrant ever again?_

_Will I ever see my Tarrant again?_

_What gives me the right to call him my Tarrant, he has other very close friends?_

_Why am I constantly thinking thinking these thoughts and still aching to go back?_

_Why do I pray every night to a non-existent god that they still want me to come back?_

_Do the heavens get a kick out of my misery?_

_Why must my only happiness come to me after I see myself bleed?_

_Why must the blade be my only salvation?_

_Why must the blade be my only friend in **this **world?_

_The only one who listens to and comforts me?_

_Why must I be a slave to my addictions?_

_Why must I have a cup of tea after each time I cut?_

_Each time I bring self-harm?_

_Why must I write letters to my dear Hatter when I know he will never receive them?_

_Why do I not send those letters even when McTwisp begins to come for mail to go to Underland, but I write letters to everyone else?_

_Why must McTwisp bring me a letter from dear Tarrant today saying that he misses me?_

_Why must that letter be stained with mine a his tears?_

_Why does he ask me if all is well in that letter?_

_Why do I send a letter to him saying that all is well and I will be returning to Underland soon?_

_Why do I say that Overland is nothing without him?_

_Why does his replying letter say that he is waiting for me to return home?_

_Why must he say return home to him, instead of saying us or just home?_

_Why must I wear a hat each and everyday since I left?_

_Why must whenever snow falls I do not allow anyone to go outside as to disturb and destroy the beauty of white?_

_Why must I, in the middle of the night, watch my blood stain the snow?_

_Why must all of my questions go unanswered by the ones I wish to ask?_

_Why must my sub-conscious fill my head with countless possibilities they will answer those questions?_

_Why am I taking this with me as long as my pen to Wonderland?_

_Is Tarrant going to welcome me with open teapot for the third time?_

_Is dear Hatter going to be happy?_

_Why must I miss him so?_

_Is that why I jumped down the whole yet another time, just earlier than planned?_

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I am not done! I will continue this and I would highly appreciate if you reveiwed, it makes me update alloot faster. I am only saying this because if I don't fanfcition will get mad at me if I don't say this sooo... I do not own Alice in Wonderland or any of it's characters, and if you have suicidal thoughts or actions please consult with a counsler, parent, or gaurdian nag nag nag. Yay!


	2. I'm Too Scared

_Why must this journey never end?_

_Why must I suffer this pain?_

_In my heart, I feel no sympathy, In my mind, I feel no comfort, so why must my heart and mind **scream** for my Hatter?_

_When will my endless headache cease?_

_While my torment continues, why must I feel joy?_

_When He smiles, why do I feel happy?_

_Why can't I forget?_

_Why must he come to me?_

_Why must he come to me everyday?_

_Why must he come to me everyday, to try and comfort me, for fear I might make an end to myself?_

_Must He have read my book while I was sleeping?_

_Why didn't I hide it?_

_Why didn't I have enough of a brain and heart to hide it so my Hatter would not see my fears?_

_Why did he stay, knowing it would break my heart to see his tears?_

_Doesn't he know I would have rather have seen him disappeared?_

_Without seeing the disappointment on his face?_

_Without seeing the disappointment rolling down his beautiful pale cheeks?_

_Why must he have run over to see my scars?_

_Why did I let him see them, knowing he's the one who cause them?_

_How could I have let him see a tear slip through my eye as he caught sight of a new cut?_

_Why did I need to cut, just last night?_

_Did he think I was getting better?_

_Did he know I am never going to become normal?_

_He should know Mirana has eyes for him, so why does he look after me?_

_Why is ti that since I have been here, I have only seen my Hatter?_

_Why must He say my name in such a broken manner, that I sit up and press a kiss to his lips?_

_Why must He have the taste of salt on his mouth as He crawls on the bed, on top of me?_

_Why must I have been so ignorant and blind to think he might have loved me?_

_Does he have to have tears on his face as he pauses to take my shirt off?_

_Why must I be so virginal that I run outside when he stops to look at me?_

_Why, of all places, do I run to the ruins of the Red Castle?_

_When He yells for me to stay, why did I not turn back into his arms?_

_Why must I hear the tears in his voice?_

_Why must I go to the dungeons?_

_Why the exact cell my Hatter was held?_

_Why must my questions never be answered?_

AN- I am INCREDIBELY sorry...I don't know what to say other than...ELVES! Pass out the Milk and cookies, please. We mustn't be late for our tea too.


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